Where have all the heroes gone?
I grew up surrounded by people I wanted to emulate. Granted, I am a Gen Xer and grew up in a golden age of heroism. I was inspired by heroes in films like Hunt for Red October, Die Hard, Road Warrior, The Karate Kid, Dead Poets Society, Amadeus, Aliens, Terminator… I had cultural heroes aplenty too – Sally Ride, Michael Jordan, Tina Turner, Sandra Day O’Connor, Nelson Mandela, Ronald Regan… In school we read full books (not just the excerpts like they do now) like Fahrenheit 451, Roots, To Kill a Mockingbird, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Fountainhead… Books with distinct characters, people who gave me a new way of looking at things, people, though fictional, who gave me insight into the kind of person I wanted to be. Heroes.
I also had hardworking parents who owned 3 businesses to support me and my brother. I also heard stories of my grandfather showing up at the local aluminum factory every day for weeks until they gave him a job, and how my grandmother fed 10,000 turkeys a day for 25 cents a week in order to help her family. They did hard things for their values.
It wasn’t so long ago that police officers and firefighters were looked up to and respected. There was a clearer cultural sense of right and wrong. Stealing was wrong. Lying was wrong. Fraud was wrong. Integrity was a good thing, honesty was admired, hard work was the way to self-respect.
These days I look around and wonder “What the hell happened?”
Film and books are filled with despicable lead characters, not the best of us. The media delights in tearing apart anyone who has contributed anything worthwhile in some kind of narcissistic schadenfreude. The nuclear family is rapidly shrinking, depression and disconnection is on the rise, shoplifting is practically encouraged in some places, we have laws that don’t get enforced, most politicians and celebrities are people who belong in jail rather than people we look up to – basically it seems like our culture is falling apart and we have a moral compass that has been demagnetized.
I’ve been concerned about this for a long time. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. There are a lot of reasons for what is happening, but at the root I think one of the main culprits is:
The prevailing wisdom is that human beings are evil.
It’s as if Thomas Malthus and Immanuel Kant had a baby and that baby hijacked the culture.
If you were a child raised in this culture, how would you develop, being told constantly that you’re evil and responsible for the destruction of the world? If you no longer had people you could look up to, admire, respect? If you were told that respecting anyone was futile, impossible, for the fact that they’re human?
I will never believe human beings are evil.
I think people are amazing, creative, inspirational. Miracles, really. The things humans have invented, created, discovered, endured… it’s awe inspiring. And to think, I’m human too, and so are you. We all have this potential.
The most important moments of my life have been experiencing something with someone I love, with a human. Someone who inspires me, someone who sees me and who appreciates me for what they see. Someone who has my back and knows I have theirs. That connection was built on something – shared values, a shared understanding of why we value each other, the pieces of heroism we see in one another.
I think that everything a human does, is done in order to meet a need. I also think a lot of humans epically suck at finding good ways to meet those needs. It’s a lack of understanding, a lack of practical skill, and often, a lack of self-awareness that leads people to doing things in a sub-optimal way. So yeah, individual people can do evil things. Probably a very few even do it with intent. But as a whole, the human race is not evil.
People. Are. Amazing.
Also, all heroes are people.
We don’t have enough role models to show us how things can, and should, be. We need that example, we need heroes, now more than ever.
As the nuclear family seems to be a rare thing, and more and more parents are turning to cell-phone daycare, kids are left searching for guidance in a culture that is actively demonizing them instead of teaching them actual values. Without strong parents, and heroes to look up to, kids grow up without a clear example of courage, integrity, perseverance. They become the little shits that rob the local CVS, or lurk the internet futility looking for self-esteem via trolling.
Changing Our Culture Starts with Changing Ourselves and How We Parent
Our children look to us not just for survival, but as nurturers and mentors who will help them learn how to think, act and interpret their emotions. Parents are the first heroes a child encounters. But how often do we consciously think about what type of hero we’re showing them? Changing our culture begins with intentional parenting—one where we focus on embodying the virtues and courage we want to see in ourselves, our children and our society. Parenting isn’t just about keeping our children safe; it’s about preparing them to face their own challenges with the mindset, skills and resilience of a hero. We can become the leaders we need — by becoming introspective, intentional and learning the skills to guide with responsibility and bravery. Now more than ever, it’s essential to rebuild a culture of heroism.
This seems extremely important. Something I am compelled to help achieve. So… how do I do that?
The Way of Heroes: A Project
I’m kicking off a project to analyze the life, habits and stories of 1000 heroes across time, industry and culture. My goal is to distill the lessons from the people who have overcome great odds to achieve their goals, and ultimately enriched humanity with their deeds.
I think the lessons found in studying heroes can help inform a way of revitalizing a culture of heroism. If we want to raise heroes, and become one ourselves, we need a framework that supports us on our way. I believe Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey framework offers a solid model for this transformation. Like the heroes in life, myths, movies and novels, we must embark on our own journey of self-discovery, face trials, and return transformed armed with new knowledge, before we are ready to guide others. I think this can be a strong analogy to use whether overcoming personal obstacles, teaching children about responsibility, or turning trauma into triumph.
Frankly, I could use the inspiration and I think others might too.
I want to share what I learn through this newsletter, build a set of practical tools that anyone can apply, while networking with others to build a vibrant community of people who are as concerned about our culture as I am.
I plan to use knowledge I’ve gained over my eclectic 30-year strategic management career, as well as my personal interests in interpersonal neurobiology, attachment theory, second brain systems, philosophy, art and creativity.
I am also a parent, and I made a conscious decision when my son was born to be an intentional one. I have a terrific relationship with my son, and it has been the primary focus of my life since he was born. It was clear to me from those first days that the way we interacted would have a critical impact on his development, and that he looked to me for more than food and shelter, but also for guidance, love and wisdom. It took work. And the work has been extremely rewarding. I plan to weave in the lessons I’ve learned raising my son into this project as well.
I am not a stranger to trauma or overcoming terrible odds. This project is born out of the ashes of an accident that required 4 years of recovery and left me with some injuries I will never recover from. I know firsthand that success in overcoming hardship is rooted in your moral philosophy, and the tools and skills you arm yourself with. This project will be the beginning of a new career chapter for me. I cannot express how excited I am to be embarking on it.
The Bottom Line: Promoting Heroism in Our Culture
This newsletter will be focused on developing the tools and insights needed to nurture the hero within. We can't teach others what we don't know, so the first step is arming ourselves with knowledge. I will explore stories of heroes who have come before us, the habits of those heroes, and the art of intentional living. I’ll also be developing resources that will help build the skills for navigating life’s challenges. I also will be looking for opportunities to present some of this material in a way that is accessible for kids too.
My end goal is to provide practical, actionable content that empowers people to lead with courage, compassion, and integrity as well as more open-ended content designed to make you think about what you believe and why. I will also explore newsworthy items in our culture and examine them from the perspective of The Way of Heroes. Whether you're focused on personal growth or raising resilient kids, each article will offer tools, strategies, and/or guidance to help you navigate your own hero’s journey.
In addition to using the Hero’s Journey framework, I’ll be operating from three core principles:
Reality Exists: I believe in the importance of grounding ourselves in truth. To lead effectively and parent wisely, we must first understand and embrace reality.
In order for us to have a basis for honest discussion, which is one of the goals of this newsletter, it's important to put this idea forward. It seems obvious, but in this culture, it's best not to take anything for granted! When I say reality exists, this means that there is an external reality that is separate from our consciousness. We may all have some slight perception differences (some are color blind, some can hear in slightly different ranges, etc.) but our changes in perception do not change reality itself.
This is an important thing to note, because when it comes to disagreements if we don't have a basis from which we can judge truth (reality), then we're at a bit of a stalemate. Relativism is one of the great evils of our time, and a healthy dose of reality will help solve that. Opinions are healthy and are welcome - I want to encourage open, deep discussion. However I think it’s important to distinguish that a difference in opinion does not equate to a different reality, just a different interpretation of it.Humans Are Good: At the heart of heroism is a fundamental belief in the goodness of people. By focusing on the intrinsic good in ourselves and others, we create an environment that nurtures growth and resilience.
A Moral Code Is Necessary for a Happy Life: True happiness comes from living with integrity and purpose. By embracing a defined moral code, we not only improve our own lives but also set a lasting example for our children.
I plan to focus more on these three principles in later articles, as there is a lot to unpack in each one of these.
Walk With Me
Finding heroism in the world may feel impossible at times, but with the right framework, support, and mindset, I think we can rise to the challenge, become our own heroes and guide the next generation.
Please consider subscribing to join this project of restoring a culture of heroism. To start, content will be free, but later on some will be available only to paid subscribers. Let’s build a community of parents, thinkers, and everyday heroes committed to improving ourselves, and raising the next generation with courage, compassion, and purpose – together, we can do heroic things.